Friday, February 19, 2010

Losing My Wisdom {Teeth}

I got my wisdom teeth at a fairly young age; in my early teens. But I didn't decide to have them removed till my early 20s. Mostly because it didn't seem necessary to get them removed. And partly because I liked  to think they made me that much smarter.

However, my dentist thought otherwise. He referred me to an oral surgeon to make up for the money he owed over a lost bet get them looked after. During our consultation "Surgy" informed me I would need to have all four removed. And he and I decided that removing all four at once, would be best. Yes, I consented to this, but wtheck did I know?


We set the appointment for the following week and Surgy had me sign a number of papers, including consent/release forms for a general anaesthetic. Because why on earth would I want to be awake for this, right? Right. However, after informing S that he'd need to take the day off to comfort me on the day of my oral surgery and letting him know I'd be in no condition to drive while the anaesthesia wore off, he pleaded that I not "go under". You see he'd watched Sleeping Beauty one too many times he feared that I would not wake up. After spooking the heck out of me hearing his concerns, I thought it best to give in.

When the morning of the surgery came, I informed Surgy that I would not be having a general anaesthetic but that I'd have a local instead. He explained that with a local anaesthetic, though I wouldn't feel a thing, I would be awake for the entire procedure. Yes, Surgy. I know what a local anaesthetic does. After trying to convey that me going local vs. general would be less lucrative for him his concern for my well-being, he reluctantly agreed.

So, his assistant proceed to stick a large needle in my gums to administer the anaesthetic. But I've learned that with gums like mine, I need at least three doses. So they do it again. And again. Once the effects kicked in, Surgy put his game face on and came at me with his pliers. Out comes one. One down, three to go. Out comes the second. Then the third. Plucking them out with ease, like a school girl plucking out petals from a daisy "he loves me, he loves me not, he loves..."

And then things headed in a different direction.

While gently trying to remove the fourth, it seems Surgy had lost his cool. The fourth did not want to come out with ease. Perhaps, it too was convinced it's what made me that much smarter, and wanted to stay behind to give me that extra edge. Whatever it was, it was not going anywhere. Surgy yanked and pulled. And grunted. Did he forget that though I couldn't feel a thing, I could still see and hear him? To gain some agility Surgy propped his foot on the chair. Yes, the one I was laying in. And firmly planted his free hand down. On my face. And pressed. He was now gently holding pushing my face down into the chair, causing the left side of my face to get better acquainted with the headrest. Now you can imagine the out of body experience I was having. Though I couldn't feel a thing, I knew I'd pay for this later. After much crunching, a few more grunts, breaking a sweat and nearly busting a gut, Surgy finally got it out.

I practically jumped out of that chair and hurried to the waiting room to see S. Can you say "get me outta here". Well, technically I couldn't say much but I believe my face said it all. S drove me home in a hurry so I could get some rest. Almost immediately after we got home, a huge green blob started to spread across my face. I was half-Hulk. Or half-Shrek. Whatever you prefer. S suggested I get some "beauty sleep". If by beauty sleep he meant "wake up looking like a puffer fish" then I did just that. By the time I woke up, the swelling was in full force. I had the bone structure of a Cabbage Patch Doll.

And just when I thought it couldn't get better...

Later that evening, S was on the phone with my mom letting her know how well the surgery had gone while I rested my head on a pillow on his lap, watching TV to try and forget the pain. Just when it seemed to be working, my mom must've said something to make S forget himself. Suddenly he had loosened his grip on the remote control he had in hand, only to have it plummet right into my face. Do you remember how big and heavy remote controls were about 10 years ago? I DO.

Ahhhhhhhhhhh!!!!
Ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh!!!
AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!

Well, at least I could be certain the anaesthesia had worn off. 

I could hear my mom on the other end frantically asking, "What happened??? Is she OK??? What happened???" After reassuring my mom he was not trying to kill me, S quickly got off the phone. Tears were streaming down my face as he tried to console me. He knew I was too weak to hurt him so he just stroked my hair till I stopped. As if my face wasn't big or green enough. You can bet I made S pay for that. For a few days weeks.
So long ago but I remember it like yesterday. Gee, I wonder why.
xo Ela 
P.S. Stop in and visit Baby Lawlor to hear the most beautiful sound ever. AMAZING.
[Image via Urban Outfitters]

34 comments:

  1. Hahahaha! This was so funny. You're an amazing storyteller, Ela! I love wisdom teeth stories. I'm 27 and haven't had mine out yet, and was recently informed by my young new orthodontist (I'm having Invisalign right now) that pulling wisdom teeth isn't really necessary for many people and it's slowly being outmoded. So even though mine are totally horizontal and potentially causing me to need braces, they're just giving me braces and a permanent retainer. Weird. Why did I tell you that?

    Anyway, realllllllly funny story. I'm gonna read it to my husband. :)

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  2. Ouch! I feel bad for you! I had mine out when I was 14 (so mature right?) and they got a secondary infection. Um... they had to drain the infection without freezing...gross and painful.
    Get well soon and stay away from tv remotes!

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  3. ohmigod, thats just horrifying! i have the biggest dentist phobia. i still have mine in, but they dont need to be removed as i have enough space in my jaw for them to grow in. sometimes i get throbbing bc they are coming through but im terrified they are going to need to be taken out. thanks for scaring me. your nuts for not doing a general, very brave!

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  4. Krazy!! So glad I skipped an experience like that...(never got my wisdom teeth, guess I'm "higher evolved" as I liked to boast to all of my friends in high school).
    My dad's a dentist (an Oral "Surgy" actually) ...and this post had me laughing!!!! No one ever likes going to the dentist, period!

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  5. lol... i haven't gotten mine removed.... & after reading this... i don;t think i want to... haha.

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  6. When I was 11 my mum picked me up from school to take me to get 4 back teeth removed as they were the last of the baby teeth and they weren't budging. On the way out of the carpark my mum backed into my teachers brand new red sports car. NOT a good day! xxx

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  7. Gah! I was cringing the whole time i was reading this...dentists freak me out. And wisdom teeth, eeeeh! So glad i only had one.

    Happy weekend ela!

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  8. I had all 4 wisdom teeth pulled at once but thankfully I was completely out! I can't even imagine being awake! However I turned out to be allergic to the pain meds they gave me later so that part sucked.

    Great story!

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  9. Oh S.... what are we going to do with him??
    Reminds me of when I had my thryroid out. I had had lots of surgeries before that... but this one was by far the most serious and major. I got home, and had my entire neck bandaged... like I had been decapatated, but somehow had my head sewn back on... pretty much what I looked like. The doc told me I could take some of the bandages off when I got home... so I did- leaving just the bandages around my incision. I was hungry... after general anaesthetic, I sometimes get the munchies. So I asked the BF at the time to make me some mac and cheese. Which he did... but then decided he needed to bring the whole pot over to me and serve me right out of it... what the??? Have you heard of a bowl, and a spoon?? I had surgery but pretty sure I didn't lose the ability to feed myself... anyway, he comes rushing in with the piping hot mac and cheese and leans towards me to start spoon feeding me. I of course try to sit up because he's a whacko and I don't want to be fed... and he panics because I am trying to sit up I(again... I didn't turn into an invalid...) and in the process he loses the grip on the mac and cheese pot and dumps it all over my fresh incision... it burned my exposed skin but I couldn't scream, because I didn't really have a voice yet. So then he decides to start dabbing ay mt neck... at my freshly cut up neck. WHAT THE!??!?!?!?!?! In the end, I was blistery and my bandages (which I couldn't take off yet) were bright orange and stained with cheeses. Oh what people must have thought when I left the house with my cheesy neck....

    And stop by... left you a bloggie award :)

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  10. I had 2 of my wisdom teeth pulled and they pulled 2 reg teeth at the time... i have all these teeth problems. I cannot IMAGINE being awake- you are brave. I'd have a panic attack, lol. I still have the 2 other ones...and frankly, I'll keep them if they don't give me any problems!

    Happy weekend!

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  11. I still have all of my wisdom teeth and this story has no scared the crap out of me! Hopefully I'll never have to have them removed. The last time I went to the dentist he said they were looking ok.

    I can't believe you stayed awake!!!

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  12. Aw, jeez. =( I've yet to have mine taken out. *cringes*

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  13. Oh wow !!!! you narrated that really well and guess what? I am getting mine removed next Friday !!!! Ok now I am NERVOUSSSSSSSSSS

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  14. Ela, honey--i could barely get through this post. omg--i'm dying. the dentist might just be the scariest place on earth. i can't believe you saw him do everything and didn't pass out. yes, i'm a wus.

    have a great weekend, love!

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  15. awake? o.m.g.

    i woke up during egg retrievel once. not fun.

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  16. HAHAHA! Poor girl! That is the classic situation of a mom and a daughter. They are going to kill us one day. ;)


    xoxo
    B* a la Moda

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  17. That hurts... I mean the remote control thingy. Hahaha! I had my wisdom tooth removed last year and I can still recall the pain I went through. (And I didn't have the remote control thingy kind of pain yet.)

    Happy weekend Ela! xoxo

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  18. U are sooo brave for being awake... recently, my hubby just got his wisdom teeth pulled and of course with general anesthesia....oh boy it almost gave me a heart attack after the procedure..hehe.... I saw him soooo groggy and I really felt so bad for him.

    But things are well now, thank goodness hehe.

    rebeccaroseilican.blogspot.com/

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  19. The amount of wisdom teeth horror stories in the world is unfathomable. I had all four of mine taken out when I was about thirteen. Within ten minutes of the surgery the nurse dumped me in the waiting room. I was completely incoherent and slumped over in the chair like I was dead - no one seemed to care. :)

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  20. what a hilarious & painful story at the same time~ haha-ouch-ouch-haha!!
    I had 2 out, it helped when my dentist is super cute...I think I moaned instead of scream!
    blush-blush***

    xo

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  21. what a nightmare!!!! gah!! how absolutely horrifying!

    i had all four of my wisdom teef pulled at once. they were impacted (under the gums) so i was put out for the whole stupid thing. it was awful. absolutely awful. i left the office with a face full of blood, and a very scared mom try to tend to me. the pain was just awful for days. i couldn't open my mouth -- it was like rusty hinges. bah. maybe i am a wuss. i ended up yelling at the doctor on a return visit when he removed the stitches. i told him that he BETTER HAVE GOTTEN ALL 4 WISDOM TEETH OUT AS I WOULD NEVER GO THROUGH THAT BULLSHIT AGAIN! he looked scared, which made me feel better. what a nightmare!!!

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  22. Oh my gosh I feel so guilty laughing so hysterically at your pain. But I can't help it, the way you told this story. I can just imagine you looking like a Cabbage Patch Doll and S acting like everything was just peachy. Such a cute and funny story. I am truly sorry about the pain though. It sounds horrific.

    I am lucky because my wisdom teeth are still hidiing and I have not had to get them out...yet.

    But if that ever happens, this story is going to replay in my mind over and over again. Lol!

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  23. LOL! look what a fun story you have after the fact! ahh makes me remember when i had my wisdom teeth removed...luckily i was put under anesthesia so i have few memories of it!
    xox alison

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  24. I was freaking out just reading this. I had mine out, but I do not remeber it..thank goodness

    Hope you have a lovely weekend

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  25. Hi hon! I know you were in a pain but you had me laughing over here! I actually didn't even know they had grown in til my dentist saw them during my annual visit. I got all 4 out and only had laughing gas so I was totally awake too and was just staring at my surgeon. But I don't recall him having any issues with getting mine out :) My sister got hers out at the same time as I did so it was nice to have her with me in the recovery room laying there. It was surprisingly not too unpleasant! But ouch, I cringed when I read that S dropped the remote on your face! Hope you have a fabulous weekend! xo, Mel

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  26. Dental stuff scares me so much already! And now I'm really terrified! I just got Lasik yesterday and I was SO scared, but luckily it wasn't that big of a deal.

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  27. Oh dear, this sounds absolutely painful, Ela! My heart goes out to you!! I took out 4 of my teeth when I had to wear braces, ahh those were the days!!

    Luckily my wisdom teeth haven't given me any problems so far:P

    xx

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  28. OMG, dude. OWWWWWWW. Did you slug him? Ah ha ha

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  29. Ela, seriously?? You are like the bravest person in the world. I would have been permanently scarred by that ordeal. I have the biggest dentist fear ever! And ack! I just about died when I read about S dropping that remote on you! EEEEEEEEKKK!! Poor girl :(

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  30. Omg I hate the dentist, Poor baby =( I still have all of my wisdom teeth

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  31. Ouch.... I still have my wisdom teeth, all intact. I hope I will not need to have them removed. I am scared just thinking about it.

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  32. Oooh, I could just feel your pain reading that. Seriously, general anaesthesia might have been better, but then again, the after-pain will always be there. I had four teeth pulled as a teenager, to better fit into braces and I had the local variant as well. I think what I hated most was the sound of the tooth coming out... eeek! AND my dentist had trouble with one tooth as well... it broke when he pulled it and he ended up having to drill the rest out. What an ass. Thankfully I still have all four wisdom teeth and I don't plan on them ever leaving my mouth ;-)

    You're such a nice gal though. I think I might have smacked S in the head for dropping the remote!

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  33. Ohhh I hate the dentist, it is like a horror story come to life! I'm sorry you had to go through that. When I got my wisdom teeth pulled I was on laughing gas and I thought that he was only going to pull one but he accidentally pulled three. Yep, a little bit of a miscommunication don't ya think?!!! At least I didn't have to go back in though afterwards, it was a blessing in disguise.

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Penny for your thoughts?
Hmm...let's make that an I.O.U ;)

xx Ela