Sunday, August 30, 2009

Life is Full of Chances

This Saturday my family and I were supposed to be celebrating my cousin T's engagement to my soon to be cousin-in-law V. As you know, life happens when we're busy making plans.

As I was getting ready my mom called to inform me that she was taking my dad to the ER. He was having trouble standing, was extremely dizzy and nauseous. She asked if S and could make it over. We left 5 minutes after she called, with a prayer in my heart the whole drive over as I bit back tears.

When we got to the hospital my dad was slumped over on the nurse's desk as my mom rattled off his symptoms. When they had finished up, S transferred my dad to a wheel chair so he could be mobile. At one point my mom left his side to go to the restroom. Shortly after, my dad tried to get up. He fell but landed on his hands and knees. With all the strength I could muster, I lifted him up by wrapping my arms around him but he tried to take another step. I felt his body falling as I struggled to keep him up. I let out a little yelp because my heart was breaking and I felt so helpless in not being able to help him more. S and some nurses rushed over to help. "No more standing for you," they ordered. We sat in the waiting room for about another hour and then he received a bed, an IV drip and a slew of bloodwork.
In the end they couldn't find anything so they diagnosed him with Vertigo and sent him home with a prescription. I said a prayer that he'd only be sent home if nothing was truly wrong. My late grandmother died within hours of being sent home, so I'm sure you can understand my apprehension.

My dad was only in the hospital for about 6 hours and I know other's parents go through much worse. But, for me, it was the first time I had seen my dad weak and frail. I've always been slightly envious of friends who have amazing relationships with their fathers. To say the least, my father and I have had our ups and downs and only in the recent years have come to have a deep respect for one another. As his daughter, I loved him but in the last few years I love the man he is striving to be. He has his faults but who doesn't? He's trying his best, and I can't ask for more than that.

I know it's only Vertigo. But, before my dad was diagnosed, I had no idea what his condition was and whether or not he would be okay. At the very least, the experience opened my eyes and left me feeling as though I've been blessed with another chance. Maybe I can have what I've always been envious of, after all.

I hope you all had stress-free weekends.
xx Ela

p.s. Please forgive me if I don't make it to your blogs on Monday, my dear friend J and I are spending the day together. A few months ago she moved to Calgary, Alberta (3,400 km from Toronto and in a whole other Time Zone) and is here only till Wednesday. Catch up with you soon.
[Photo via Google]


41 comments:

  1. sweety i'm glad to hear he's doing ok and it wasnt anything too serious. regardless that is scary and im so sorry your weekend turned out like that. i'll keep him in my prayers. i hope you have a wonderful start to your week girl. hug!

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  2. Oh sweetie i'm sorry that had to happen. To see your father that way. I can't even imagine your feelings. The strength you were giving for him...that is truely amazing!
    I completely understand what you mean about the father-daughter relationship you wish you had...want to have. I'm in the same boat. As time has passed we've communicated better and come to an understanding. But the time lost is what i miss the most. The memories of my childhood i can't get back. The future shall be bright and you have ANOTHER chance. Don't miss out on a day...not even a second to tell him how much he means to you. You're in my thoughts & prayers as well as your fathers health.

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  3. Ela, I can completely understand why you felt the way you did. Lately I have felt much the same with my dad having back surgery and my mom actually have a severe case of vertigo as well. She actually got out of bed one day and passed out and hit her head! I was very scared and upset that I could not be there for her, so I am so glad that you were able to be there for your dad even though it must have been difficult watching him go through the dizziness. It is hard to see parents have their weak moments, but at least we are there to be there for them like they have been there for us. I will be praying for your dad and hope he feels better soon! Enjoy the time with your friend and take care of yourself. XO!

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  4. It's so horrible when you don't know what's going on. We can't help but think the worst.

    It's good that he only has vertigo.

    I don't know what I would do if my mum were to get sick. I don't see her very often but she's my stability!

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  5. Oh honey! I am so glad everything is ok, and I would be upset also. I have the same type of relationship with my dad, but if I ever were to see him sick, it would devastate me. You are so right that this might be another chance to have a new kind of relationship with him. Thats how I try to look at mine too...

    You're in my thoughts and prayers! Have a great time with your friend tomorrow!! XO

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  6. Ela, I am really sorry about what happened and I understand your fears. I also know exactly what a difficult relationship with dad is. But I always remember what Sartre said: "there is no perfect father. That's a rule." And I try to be patient with him. I really hope that your dad will be just fine and all this a bad memory.

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  7. Oh my goodness, how scary! I'm so sorry. I'm glad to hear that it was nothing like the dreaded "H" word. We wont go there. I'll be thinking about him and saying a prayer.

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  8. hi ela! i hope your dad's feeling much better now. my dad had a kidney transplant a few yrs back and it was definitely one of the most trying times in our lives. he's doing much better now. but that was a scare. health is definitely the most valuable treasure.

    have fun on your trip :)

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  9. hi:)hope you're having a nice time with your friends.i'm really sorry for what you had to go through with your father, but everything will be ok.i've also read the post below, when is your birthday?if you're a virgo, it must be soon.or was.take care of you and do your best in the father-daughter relation...

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  10. aw love, that was a such a tearful story to read but im glad your dad is ok now! my prayers go out to you and your family :)

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  11. What a scary experience. I'm glad to hear he seems to be doing better. I'm thinking of you and hoping that he continues to feel better.

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  12. oh my dear, I'm glad he is okay now! Thank you for the reminder that life is precious, especially with our parents getting older..it can be a really scary thing to see the people who have been taking care of you your whole life suddenly need help from you. I hate the thought of my parents getting older, but I know I need to spend time with them now before I look back and have regrets.

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  13. I'm so very sorry, Ela! I can't imagine what you must have been going through that day. What a nightmare. I'm so thankful for you that it wasn't anything more serious than vertigo. But my thoughts and prayers are with your family because I know you have all been through a fright this weekend.
    I am sending you a hug through the computer!!

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  14. oh honey...i'm so glad he's okay. i would've been a total trainwreck. way to stay strong for him during this scary situation. sending big hugs to you today. xoxo.

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  15. I'm so glad to hear you're dad is ok. Anytime something out of the blue happens like that involving your loved ones health, it's just a stressful, horrible, & scary time. I hope you have a nice week that destresses you and again, so glad to hear your dad is ok!

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  16. Ela- I am so thankful to hear your dad is okay! My dad had a bad accident about a year ago and that was the first time I had to really take care of him, versus the other way around. It also made me face up to the fact that my daddy was getting older. There are so many emotions that come with things like this... but for now, I am just happy that he is home, and okay. And I am so glad you get to spend the day with a dear friend. Enjoy every second you're able to spend and share together!!

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  17. great thing that everything's okay, your dad's okay.. :( hope everything turns out better soon! :)

    xx

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  18. And when you and your friend are through enjoying your time together, stop by my blog... I left a little something there for you on my post today!

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  19. Hi Ela,

    I can only imagine how you felt, the mix of panic, fear and helplessness. Glad he's doing OK now.

    I agree, your family has been blessed with another chance. Make the most of it and cherish every moment!

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  20. I'm really sorry about what happen to your father, I wish you and your family the best of luck and you got my prayers! I hope everything will work out soon and it'll be okay <3

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  21. Hey, honey! I am so relieved to hear that the worst part is over. Poor, poor girl you are! What a horrible experience it must have been! I cannot even imagine what it's like! These moments really make us feel how much we need our mum and dad... I can be away from mine for a long time if I know they are alright, but I pray and wish that this would always be like this.

    I wish your dad all the very best!

    Take care, honey.

    Big hug and lots of love.

    xxx

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  22. oh so sorry sweetie. i had vertigo before, it was such a nasty feeling. have your dad rest well for a few days. it's not life threatening but boy i want to die during those attacks.

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  23. Hospital trips, no matter how big or small the problem, are always scary! I hope your father makes a full recovery quickly & you feel better too. I have the same thing with my dad- the ups and downs. Last year he had heart failure and was in the hospital for a while- he ended up losing 80 lbs {fluid around his lungs & more} and I was basically in charge because my parents are divorced. It's so hard to reconcile your feelings for your parents when they are sick. It seems that no matter what your relationship is with them, when they need you, you're just there....I hope you're doing OK.

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  24. vertigo must be so scary....I can't imagine what that must feel like for him!

    I am so sorry that you had to go through that...seeing our parents like that is so hard.

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  25. Oh dear, I am very sorry to hear about your Dad. I am extremely close to my father so I understand (as much as another person can) what you are going through. You seem like such a strong, kind, and wonderful person and I know you will not only get through this unscathed but also emerge and even more wonderful person. Keep us posted and we will be thinking and praying for you!

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  26. UGGH! That is scary as hell! I totally understand how you feel too, when you see your dad in a not good condition - really rare to see something like and so disconcerting. My dad had Bell's Palsy for about 6 months and it was really frightening to see him not have control of half of his face. I really hope your dad is ok!

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  27. I am so sorry about your dad. I'm just glad that it wasn't anything more serious. I'm sure it was tough on you. My dad had some serious health problems a few years back. He ended up having to have a kidney removed and some other work done. It was such a scary time. Take care. I will keep you and your dad in my thoughts and prayers.

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  28. I recently went through a similar situation with my dad. He was having a heart problems so it was really scary and seeing him in the hospital hooked up to all those tubes and monitors were quite scary. He's better now, thank goodness but it was hard to see my dad who's been my hero all my life to see him weak and vulnerable. It made me realize a lot about life and growing up and my parents.

    I am glad that your dad is doing better. lots of hugs!

    have fun with your friend!

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  29. oh gosh ela, i know exactly what you mean. my mom&dad is my world and to ever see them struggle, weak, sad, upset.. it really hits me hard. So glad to hear your dad is okay though. Just a reminder to really cherish moments with those you love and don't forget to say "i love you" :)

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  30. It's so scary when you see your parent ill! I experienced an episode with my mom in the hospital not too long ago. I definitely could have done without that reality check! I'm glad everything turned out ok. : )

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  31. Ooh I am so sorry, I send my best wishes to your daddy and your family

    xxx

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  32. I wish you and your family well. As I know how it feels to be in your position. My grandpa passed away few months ago and my grandma had a stroke a month ago. It's scary, but the best thing is to to not lose your humour and just go on being your fabulous self. I'm sure your dad will be okay and to see everyone not worry so much will make him feel much better as well. <3

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  33. Don't worry about your blog in this time dear girl, our thoughts are with you and your family. Be strong!

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  34. jesus, I hope everything will turn out greatly! hang in there girl! forget about the blog for the moment family needs ya! when everything is back on track pass by my blog and tell me the good news, as you see you have many web-friends caring 4 ya! ;)

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  35. so glad he is ok! don't discredit yourself or the experience by saying its ONLY vertigo- it sounds damn terrifying! you have every right to be as scared as you were/are. its scary seeing someone you admire and love get suddenly, uncharacteristicly weak. heart wrenching.

    my prayers are with you xxx

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  36. ohmygoodness! you stayed so strong! Well done! you did a great job for your dad! I know it was super hard to see him like that. I am so sorry. :) Hope you are having a great day Ela!

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  37. oh dear. this must have been terrifying. i am so glad that it is just vertigo (even tho vertigo is hORRID!), and that it is not something worse.

    it is really really hard to see those we love when they are weak or ill. i lost 3 grandparents two years ago, and it was just horrid to watch/see/hear their declining health. it happens to us all eventually (if we are lucky? i guess?), and hopefully we all have someone as sweet and loving by our side when it happens.

    will keep my fingers crossed for you and your dad, and for a rapid recovery, and an even better relationship in the future. :)

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  38. Scary! Hope he is feeling better. Vertigo is horrible!

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  39. Oh I'm so glad your dad is okay- but I know that must have been extremely heart-wrenching for you! My mom also has vertigo, and she has told us about how helpless she feels at times even when she is just sitting. The vertigo comes and goes though (it's worse if she flies or is on a boat)- and she is usually perfectly fine and not at all dizzy. I hope it's the same for your dad!
    Wishing you and your family the best, Ela!

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  40. Dearest Ela,
    thank you so very much for your lovely Hello, darling. I was and am still ill, it's better today but still feeling not pretty well.
    Anyway... Sorry I didn't manage to visit your blog earlier.

    Sweetheart... What a deep shock.
    I was just siting here and my mouth went wide open.
    First all off - I'm very happy that your dad is back home and he's feeling better now!!!

    I can remember the shock of bringing my mother to the ER sitting next to her in the emergency ambulance. I felt so helpless - and it's giving you a deep shock when you see the man or the woman who is a column of your house and the base of your being in a weak position. And if you don't know what is going on, if it could be serious or not....

    Feel very hugged, my darling. I'm so happy your dad is feeling better again.
    Sending you many kisses and hugs your way - and much love, always!
    Yours Sofie

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Penny for your thoughts?
Hmm...let's make that an I.O.U ;)

xx Ela